The church is supposed to be a place where people are welcomed and loved, where people act with humility to put others first, and where everyone seeks to do what pleases Jesus, rather than what pleases themselves. Unfortunately, churches often seem to attract people who want to put themselves first, and who fail to show love and welcome to others. In his third letter, John describes an example:
I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to put himself first, does not accept what we say. If I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, saying unhelpful things about us. Not stopping with this, he refuses to welcome fellow believers, and prevents people who want to do so and throws them out of the church. Dear friend, follow good examples, not bad ones. Someone who does good things belongs to God. Someone who does evil has not seen God.
People like Diotrephes ruin a church. The problem is, however, that we all act a bit like Diotrephes from time to time, doing things which scare away the people we are supposed to love, and trying our best to take the glory for ourselves, rather than focusing the glory on Jesus. Often we do not even notice that we are excluding others and pandering to our own egos.