God created humanity to live and rule with him, but because of our fear and our desire to control, we attempt to relate to God in other ways, according to Skye Jethani in his book With: Reimagining the Way You Relate to God. If we are living life with God, then God becomes the goal of our life; if we are attempting to relate to him in one of the other ways, then we are trying to use God to help us achieve other goals. The author identifies four other ways of relating to God:
- When we try to use God to supply our material desires, we are living life “from” God.
- When we try to secure blessings and avoid calamity in return for obeying God’s commands we are living life “under” God.
- When we try to run our lives without God or according to principles instead of in reliance on God, we are living life “over” God.
- When we see our value as being defined by how much we accomplish in the way of Christian mission, we are living life “for” God.
For the most part I found the author’s analysis insightful and helpful. Some of the false ways of relating to God are so prevalent that they seem to be authentic, but when examined closely they turn out to be ways of trying to deal with fear or control our circumstances. However, I think the author went too far in taking a swipe at Andy Stanley for recommending the use of some secular leadership principles in churches. In my view the sin of trying to live life “over” God occurs when someone relies on principles as a substitute for relying on God. I believe that there is no necessary inconsistency between using principles and living life with God. I agree that the Bible exists to draw us into relationship with God and not as a self-help manual, but it is impossible to deny that the Bible contains many principles in the Proverbs, Sermon on the Mount and many other places.
I also think that the author may have overstated the case against living life “for” God. Someone who is truly living life with God will be engaged in God’s mission. That mission work sometimes flows out of pure love for God and it sometimes happens out of a sense of obligation. The author happily quotes Mother Teresa but fails to mention that she spent most of her life in a spiritual desert struggling to reignite her relationship with God.
Notwithstanding these issues, I found the book to be challenging and well worth reading. I received a free digital copy from Booksneeze, but would have been happy to pay the full price.