It can be surprisingly difficult to give someone a present. People like to feel independent and self-sufficient, and receiving a free gift from someone else makes it look as if you are unable to meet your own needs. That is one reason why most people feel a need to refuse or reciprocate when offered a free present. The problem is that independence is a conceited illusion. Ultimately everyone is dependent; people cannot save themselves.
In chapter 2 of his letter to the Ephesians, Paul writes:
“You were dead in your errors and sins, which you used to live in as people in this world do… All of us once also followed our sinful cravings, obeying the appetites of the sinful nature and mind. We were earning God’s anger, just like everybody else. But… You have been saved by grace through faith. It was not done by yourselves. It is the gift of God, not a reward for good deeds, so that no one can boast.”
It is not possible for someone to give birth to himself or herself. A baby is utterly dependent on its mother when born. In the same way, a person cannot be reborn by himself or herself. Someone who is born again in the Spirit is utterly dependent on God for the rebirth. Getting right with God is not a matter of performing good deeds or indeed doing anything else; it is a matter of surrendering your conceited illusion of independence and accepting the free gift of God’s grace which can never be repaid.