One of the sad facts of church life is that conflict inevitably occurs. It is inevitable that in any group of people with a difficult mission there will be some disagreements as to how things should be handled, although frequently the level of conflict is greater and the manner in which it is handled is much poorer than would be the case if all parties were truly following the principles laid down by Jesus.
In chapter 7 of his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul reveals his ambivalent feelings about conflict: “Although I made you sorry with my letter, I do not regret it, but I did regret it at the time because I see that my letter upset you, though just for a while. I now rejoice, not that you were made sorry, but that your sorrow led to repentance. You were made sorry in a godly way, and were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow causes repentance leading to salvation, with no regrets, but worldly sorrow causes death.”
When there is tension caused by unspoken conflict between parties, it is almost always best to try to work through that conflict. However, this is not the same as “letting off steam” by taking out your anger on someone else, which can cause permanent damage to relationships. It is essential for a satisfactory outcome that each party choose to maintain the relationship and not to let the situation lead to bitterness.